Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Week Three

So I'm now onto week 3 of my leave from work. I've been feeling a lot better, still have some anxiety about the outdoors and I am having trouble sleeping.

All in all though, I feel destressed. Money was an issue for a bit but I've managed to clear that issue up. The migraines are almost gone, and my hair has stopped falling out mostly. This is much improved from my previous state.

My next check up will determine if I am to return to work or not. I have to check back in with my doctor and he may want to try the anti depressants again. The problem with that is I tend to be non-compliant with them and they stop and start.

Today I'm feeling a touch sickie... However, it could be much much worse. I have a little headache and my tummy is a bit off.

Oh! And I have an old friend coming to visit. Her name is Caroline... We have known each other since grade 5 and she has always been so nice to me. I'm really happy we are going to see each other. And my Barbie is coming to visit me as well. I think that those two will mesh quite well. They are both so sweet natured and make wonderful friends. Barb wants to go to the bar tonight, I may be up for it but I'm not sure, I'm not really a drinker and with this headache....

In other news, the guy I'm seeing has managed to snap up a job. I'm so proud of him ^.^

Also I've managed to get tonnes of my Christmas shopping done. I'm really happy that its getting figured out now as opposed to later. I have a hookah for Marra, a vaporizer for another friend, mum is getting baking stuff and a small digital picture frame for her desk, my sister is getting pinch guards for her doors. The list goes on and on.... So far I haven't spent a tonne on it, but I still want to get a few more things. I am re-doing an old wooden sled for my aunt and Josie... She will love it!

However, I'm going to go sleep off this headache before I have to get up and tidy.


Saturday, 20 October 2012

The Giving Tree...

Lately I have been feeling more and more like my life is just crumbling. My best friend tried to jump out a fucking window and I have developed enough anxiety that going outside is becoming exceptionally difficult.

I feel like the people in my life are just taking and taking, and no one is giving back (with the exception of my family). I feel like every time I do something for someone, I am giving away a part of who I am. Eventually I will end up like the giving tree.... Nothing more than a stump.

If I say no to a request I am yelled at for it. Literally I said "no" when asked for a cigarette today because they are all I have left for a week. Instead of the person understanding, I got told not to ever ask them for anything.

That person being my best friend. The person who I loaned money too without blinking an eye and said pay me back whenever she can. The person who I pulled her back in from the window she tried to jump from and then spent several hours in the hospital with. The person who I don't ask for anything from with the exception of her half the bills, and for a while I didn't even get that.

I feel like I can never do enough for the people around me to keep them happy. I just want to lay down and never talk to anyone again.

I wish someone would consider me... Do I not have feelings? Do I not do good things for people? I try my best. Honestly. I want to be a good person and I want people to feel like I am good to them but how much of yourself do you give away before it's too much.

I don't want millions of dollars or a perfect life. But appreciation and thanks would be nice on occasion.

My hair has begun falling out again. I'm thinking its from the stress. The doctor doesn't want me back on my anti-depressants just yet. I'm noncompliant with my medication and that makes it risky for me to take them.


When will life be okay for a while? This is just too fucked up.

Thursday, 4 October 2012

Cogeco... Almost as bad as Rogers.

Seriously, this is a terrible company. I have always been told they have the worst customer service but I thought I would give them a shot.

Boy was I wrong to do that!

They have some of the most unintelligent, disrespectful customer service agents I have ever spoken with. I cannot stress enough that they are one of the worst companies I have ever spoken with in my life.

You can't even directly speak with a supervisor. That ought to tell you something about how many people are pissed off with them. I'm glad I won't be locked into a contract with these idiots.

They managed to cancel the installation without informing me, screw up putting in bank numbers and tell me repeatedly that I should just call back.

This is all before I have even had the service set up! At least Rogers had the decency to get me up and running before screwing up this badly.

In short. I would give Cogeco a 2/10 and the only reason I'm willing to go that high is because of one agent named Rose who was exceptionally helpful.

Fuck Cogeco.

Wednesday, 3 October 2012

Douchebag landlords strike again!

Once again, my landlords have out douched themselves. This time they are trying to prevent me from having internet installed by refusing to allow cogeco to make a hole to install the cable they need. I am pissed. I have an appointment to have it installed tomorrow, and I will be keeping it. Cogeco may need permission to put a hole in the wall, but I certainly fucking don't. I will be asking where the hole needs to be and either taking a drill, a hammer or my boot to that spot. Way I figure it is that if he wants to be an assholr about a small hole in the wall, two can play that game.

I even offered to patch it when I moved out, which is more then they can say they did since they barely cleaned anything before we took possession of the unit. But apparently that was not good enough. Remind me to not clean anything for a month before I leave and to stuff raw fish under the floor boards

They are the most unprofessional, inappropriate morons I have ever had to deal with in my entire life. I will be so glad to move out of this shit hole.

Tuesday, 2 October 2012


I will be getting interwebs soon! Thursday to be exact. I finally got pissed off at not having any so I called and ordered it. It will cost me about $55 a month for 40gb and a wireless router.

I will keep you updated!